


Living Louder

by Rokeby



Category: EXO (Band), VIXX
Genre: (save for wonshik), ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS ARE GIRLS, AU, All Girls, College AU, F/F, Genderswap, band au, girl au, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:01:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rokeby/pseuds/Rokeby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junmi falls in love with a song, and the girl who sings it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Louder

**Author's Note:**

> All characters in this (mostly) are girls.  
> Originally written for girlexochange  
> Title from The Cab's song Living Louder.  
> The band name "The New London Fire" belongs to Mikey Way.

Junmi runs her hands down her soft, generic cotton blend blouse. The flower print is soft under her hands as she meticulously checks it for any wrinkles. She ironed it yesterday, of course, but she sees no harm in being thorough. It's her first day at this new university after all.

She crosses the floor on socked feet, heading for her backpack lying in the corner. Everything is already packed, save for her lunch box, waiting for her in the small fringe in the shared kitchen. She pauses, however, mid-way, as something hanging on her magnet board catches her eye.

The magnet board is a couple of years old, filled with Junmi's weekly schedule. Every day of the week has a box, in which she usually writes important stuff to remember, deadlines, things she's going to attend, etc. Most of the boxes are empty, save for Tuesday, this day, that has _first day of uni_ written in a box. Some of the letters spilling out of the marked frame. 

Next to the drawn schedule, there are pictures, held up by flower magnets, and it's the one in the middle that catches her attention.

It's from her high school graduation, almost two years ago. The picture is of her and her friends, most of them crying - Junmi the most - holding their diplomas as they all look in the camera, trying to smile despite the tears in their eyes. Junmi looks horrible, but she loves the picture, loves how real it feels.

Seunghee, Kyuri, Minyoung and Junmi. In their school uniforms, flowers in their hair, hands curled tightly around each other’s' waists. Kyuri tried to calm Junmi down. She managed, minutes later. Junmi's mother took a picture of that too, but Junmi likes this picture the best. It's how she remembers her friends, this is how their little group were, used to be.

A smile, warm, forms on Junmi's lips and for a second time stops as she remembers, longs, misses. Seunghee, Kyuri and Minyoung aren't with her, their tiny group of friends spread out over the country when they all started university, getting in to different schools.

They were going to attend the same one, they said, promised. Life doesn't always do what you want it to. Even so, they’re staying in touch through Kakao Talk, having their own chatroom named Kyuline, since Kyuri was the one who brought them all together. Junmi smiles at the memory.

The moment, Junmi's moment, is interrupted by a series of short knocks on her door.

"Yes?" Junmi's door is open, has been ever since she moved into the dorms a week ago. She's not used to lock her doors. She never did it back home.

"Good morning!" A girl with small, bright eyes, wild, red hair and a toothy grin sticks her head into Junmi's room. She steps fully into the room as Junmi returns her greeting and her smile.

She's the resident assistant in Junmi’s dorm: Kim Minchae, junior, majoring in something sports related, minoring in music composing. Junmi doesn't really remember. She feels bad for it for a second, but it is all whisked away when Minchae bounces over to where Junmi is standing, elegantly ignoring the small heaps of Junmi's rejected first day of school-clothes lying scattered on the floor.

"Nervous?" Minchae asks, something akin to sympathy in her voice as her hand comes up to squeeze Junmi's shoulder.

They've been talking about this. A lot. Junmi was the first freshman who moved into the dorm, into Minchae's hall, and thus Minchae, a year Junmi's senior, has been taking care of her a lot. She hasn't been seeing that much of her lately, but Junmi knows that it's because Minchae's hall has slowly filled up and now she has other residents to look after than just Junmi.

"A bit yeah," Junmi agrees, teeth worrying her bottom lip for a while before she looks up to meet Minchae's gaze. She continues quickly when she notices Minchae's frown. "But not as much as I thought I would, I guess?"

It seems to soothe Minchae some. She squeezes Junmi's shoulder again before she lets go.

"How about you, eonni?" Junmi asks when she notices Minchae is in her usual t-shirt and sweatpants combo.

"We're not having classes before next week," Minchae grins, scratching the back of her neck. "It's freshman week and everything, so unless we're helping with that, we're off for another week."

Junmi thinks Minchae has told her this before, but she probably forgot. If she did, Minchae isn't commenting on it.

"I'm meeting Taeeun, Lu Hua and some of the other girls from our team for some light practice this afternoon though. Soccer season starts soon, better check if our team is where it should be, physically." As she says this, a devilish grin spreads out on Minchae's face, and Junmi finds herself relieved that she's not on Minchae's soccer team.

"Anyway," Minchae says after a while, drawing out the vowels as she speaks. Junmi fights the urge to laugh at her. "I just wanted to wish you good luck! Not that you'll need it, Junmi. I'm sure this will go just fine."

Junmi wishes she was as optimistic as Minchae. Nevertheless, she pulls on a brave face when Minchae bids her goodbye, walks out of Junmi's room, closing the door behind her with a soft click, leaving Junmi alone with her churning thoughts.

The campus is crowded, to say the least. However, it calms Junmi down some to see that she isn't the one who wanders around aimlessly alone. Some of the freshmen has gathered in groups, some of them accompanied by their parents, but most of them are alone. There are sophomores, juniors, seniors - Student Helpers - everywhere, holding large banners and flags in different colors, stating which faculty they belong to, and also which field of study.

Junmi hasn't seen hers yet. She contemplates asking some of the Student Helpers, surely they must know where she's supposed to be, and yet, she hasn't. It's unlike her, she doesn't usually act like this. She's usually outgoing, social, friendly and all those other positive adjectives.

She's not in her usual environment, she doesn't _know_ this place, she's not familiar with its people. Like Minchae would say, it's not her home stadium.

For the fourth time since she walked from her dorm, Junmi digs her phone out from the pocket in her jeans, punching in the code to unlock it, then clicking on the e-mail icon.

The e-mail, sent to her from her faculty, doesn't specify where she's supposed to meet the Student Helper from her faculty. It only states vaguely that it's in the vicinity of the library, and that she should be there no later than 9 am.

With her eyes trained on the screen, Junmi starts walking, wondering if she's on the wrong side of the library. The X marked on her map looks like it's placed on the north side, closer to the sports arena than the park.

Suddenly, Junmi crashes into something soft, warm and doesn't manage to react before she finds herself, butt planted firmly on the ground, foreign fingers wrapped around her wrist. The knuckles on her left hand are white from how tight they are holding onto her phone.

Dumbfounded, she looks up and is met with a pair of sparkling, brown eyes, and a voice as sparkling as the girl's eyes.

"I'm sorry! Are you ok?" Sparkling Girl asks, and before Junmi manages to respond, Sparkling Girl is pulling her up from the asphalt, smiling widely at her. Sparkling Girl is wearing the bright yellow Student Helper shirt, over a black, long-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of black pants. Her dark hair falls elegantly over her shoulders, heavy bangs covering her forehead. Sparkling Girl is taller than her, about half a head taller.

When Junmi doesn't answer, Sparkling Girl continues to talk.

"You're a Freshman aren't you?" Her smile grows softer, eyes even kinder, almost maternal as she looks at Junmi, hand still wrapped around Junmi's wrist, as if she's afraid Junmi will run away. 

Junmi nods once, Sparkling Girl laughs, loud and obnoxious, but it fits her, somehow, Junmi thinks. 

"I'm Hayeon. Cha Hayeon. Junior and Student Helper," Sparkling Girl says, pointing to the name tag glued to her shirt. In her free hand, she's holding a purple banner. Sparkling Girl, Hayeon, belongs to a different faculty than Junmi. Her heart sinks a little. She wouldn't mind having Hayeon as her Student Helper. 

"Kim Junmi, Freshman," Junmi says, bowing as deep as she can, what with Hayeon's grip on her wrist and all.

"I knew it," Hayeon beams, eyeing Junmi. "You Freshmen have this wild, frightened look over you. Makes it really easy to spot you for the first two weeks or so."

Junmi isn't sure what to say so she settles for smiling.

"Did you lose your Student Helper? Which faculty do you belong to?"

"No. Um, I haven't- I haven't been able to find them yet?" Junmi says, her hand coming down to pull at the hem of her shirt. Hayeon's eyes follow the movement before she looks back up.

"Well I don't blame you. The organization is a mess, and even with the color system, freshmen still have issues finding their faculties and designated Student Helpers," Hayeon grumbles, eyes narrowing slightly as she scans their surroundings.

"I'm sorry?" Junmi asks, biting her bottom lip.

Hayeon's face brightens again, squeezing Junmi's shoulder good-naturedly. "Don't worry! I'll help you find your faculty. Which faculty do you belong to?"

"The faculty of Education and International Studies," Junmi says automatically, having memorized the name ever since she received the welcome e-mail two months earlier. "It says in the e-mail that we're supposed to meet outside the library, but I think maybe I'm on the wrong side? I can't see anyone with my color, or the faculty's banner here."

Something twinkles in Hayeon's eyes as Junmi speaks. It reminds her on how Minchae's eyes sparkle when she talks about soccer. It makes Hayeon seem even more enthusiastic and dedicated than she had been seconds prior. Just like on Minchae, it made Junmi both fear and respect her.

"Your color is green?" Hayeon's voice is tilted as a question, but something tells Junmi that it's not.

Junmi nods.

"Don't worry Junmi," Hayeon chirps, patting Junmi's hand. "I know _exactly_ who and where your Student Helper is."

With those words, Hayeon drags Junmi after her through the crowd of students, her steps sure as she walks them to the western side of the library.

The crowd is thinner here, Junmi notices, the spaces to walk in wider, the voices lower, fewer. There are fewer buildings on this side of the enormous library, only a small bookstore, a no-brand coffee shop and a vast amount of forest behind them. Junmi remembers reading about the forest in the University's booklet. It's only about a thousand square feet, but it's there for the people majoring in agriculture. Junmi also read that there's a trail there that the sports majors frequent often.

Junmi is a bit puzzled when Hayeon guides her to the coffee shop, the pace of her steps quickening as the crowd clears and then, Junmi sees her.

_Wow, she's tall_ is the first thought that pops up into Junmi's head. Hayeon too is taller than Junmi, but this girl seems like she's taller than Hayeon by an inch or two. Unlike Hayeon, she's not wearing the yellow Student Helper shirt; it's wrapped around her waist instead.

Even if Junmi had managed to find her on her own, she would never have approached her. This girl radiates coldness, a stark contrast to Hayeon who's emitting sunshine. Her dark brown hair is pushed back into a high pony tail, bangs falling into her eyes as she sips on an iced Americano.

When Hayeon and Junmi approach her, she just looks at them, her kitten-like eyes small, slanted as her gaze flickers from Hayeon, briefly to Junmi, and then back to Hayeon. Surprisingly, Hayeon, too, remains quiet for a time, meeting Tall Girl's gaze with her own.

Junmi's skin is itching.

"Honestly, can't you do your job?" Hayeon says after a while, breaking the silence. She finally lets go of Junmi's wrist, then, leaning forward to chop Tall Girl's neck with the side of her hand, their skin tones stark contrasts.

If Junmi had been a photographer, this would be one of the moments she'd want to capture.

When Tall Girl remains quiet, sipping at her iced beverage, Hayeon rolls her eyes, mutters something under her breath as she turns to Junmi.

"Kim Junmi, this is Jung Taeeun, she's one of the Student Helpers for the Faculty of Education and International Studies." Hayeon's voice is softer as she speaks to Junmi. Tall Girl - Taeeun - looks over at Junmi and the weight of her gaze makes Junmi's skin crawl, the fine hairs on the back of her neck standing up.

Taeeun is scary, and Junmi would rather take a bath with a shark than bow to her, showing her exposed neck, but she does out of courtesy, even manages to smile as she repeats her name.

"How come you're not at your designated space? What about the students?" Hayeon says exasperatedly. Taeeun does not budge. Hayeon punches her again.

 

"Yixin's looking after the kids," Taeeun murmurs. Junmi jumps at Taeeun's voice, so much softer, kinder than Junmi had expected her to sound. Hayeon's gaze softens. "I was just getting coffee."

Hayeon sighs, but it's fond, Junmi notices, as Hayeon leans forwards to tug at the yellow shirt around Taeeun's waist.

In the end, Hayeon leaves Junmi with Taeeun after getting a phone call, saying she needed to get back to her group. She squeezed Junmi's shoulder once more, engaged in a silent conversation with Taeeun before she headed back the direction where she and Junmi had come from minutes earlier.

Yixin, Junmi learns when Taeeun wordlessly walks away and Junmi follows, is much friendlier than Taeeun. At this point, anyone would be friendlier than Taeeun, but Yixin is genuinely kind.

With her pixie cut and short, slender frame, she looks like, well, a pixie. Her smile is warm, kind, and she immediately makes Junmi feel at ease at once, within just minutes of knowing her. It’s not just Junmi that feels that way either, she notices, as the other freshmen are equally relaxed around Yixin, but walks on needles around Taeeun, who seems mostly oblivious.

“Taeeun eonni is just shy,” Yixin tells them later, voice hushed, as she huddles them close. Some of the other freshmen murmur as Yixin talks, doubtful. “She could never hurt a fly.”

As if on cue, Taeeun turns towards them, blinks. Yixin laughs. Then, out of the blue, Taeeun colors slightly, a warm pink blossoming on both her cheeks. She looks away quickly, and Yixin winks at them.

“What did I tell you?” She says, sticking out her chest.

Taeeun becomes slightly warmer towards them, and Junmi thinks that Yixin is right. Maybe.

"Have you given any thought to whether you're going to join a club or not?" Yixin asks one lazy afternoon in the midst of freshman week. Yixin, Junmi, Taeeun and a couple of others from their group are seated on blankets spread out on the lawn at the outskirts of the campus.

The trips and tours with the freshman groups aren't mandatory, but so far Junmi has been to every single one, meeting Yixin and Taeeun outside the library every day at 9 am. They haven't been doing stuff that Junmi couldn't have missed, but being new in this city as well as this university, she doesn't feel like she can afford to miss anything.

Taeeun had told her that most of the students at the university were people who had grown up in the area, and that was why the dorms weren't as big as they would be in other universities because most people still lived at home to get out of paying rent.

The freshmen and freshmen helpers are gathered around a small stage, as today is club day, where the sole purpose is to show the freshmen what kind of after school clubs and activities they have at the university.

"I think I'd want to join a club," Junmi says, curling her feet under her, tugging at her skirt. If this had been last year, if Junmi had been last year’s Junmi, she wouldn't have joined a club, but instead visited the local church and gotten involved in their work.

Junmi doesn't want that anymore.

Yixin leans forward; both her hands clutching a kimbap roll as she looks at Junmi with interest, bangs falling into her eyes. She tries to blow them away, but fails. "Which one do you want to join? Have you seen any clubs that seem interesting?"

While she talks, Junmi notices she has rice sticking to her upper lip. Junmi bites her cheek so she won't laugh. It'd be rude to laugh at Yixin now, when she's so dedicated, passionate about Junmi's choice of after school activity.

"I'm not quite sure yet," Junmi admits, Yixin blinks at her, rice still stuck to her lips. Back home Junmi had been working as a volunteer at her local church, as well as being in the church choir since she was a little girl. Music has always meant a lot to her so maybe she should continue that path. But then again, discovering something new would also be nice.

"Don't worry Junmi!" Yixin beams, pointing at Junmi with her kimbap roll. "We have tons of after school activities here. Surely there's something here that will catch your interest!"

That second, Taeeun flits into Junmi's vision as she tends to do. It doesn't stop Junmi's heart from hammering in her chest, doesn't stop her from jumping a bit further onto the blanket in shock.

"Sorry," Taeeun murmurs as she crosses her legs, sitting down next to Yixin. Taeeun brought three bags with her, all carrying the 7/11 logo. Junmi watches as she fishes out a can of iced coffee before she shoves the three bags to the center of their blanket, telling everyone to grab a drink.

The bottle of chilsung Junmi digs up from the bag is still cool, beads of moisture traveling down the green plastic as she works the lid open.

"I'm in the marching band and in the performance club," Yixin tells her enthusiastically, inching closer to Junmi, her slender hands grabbing onto Junmi's shirt. Taeeun's mask of stone is back. "If you're into music or dancing, you could join one of those! Or maybe both! They're lots of fun and everybody are really nice. The marching band always need new people, and in the performance club we operate in different teams so there's always room for new people!" 

Yixin is speaking so fast she's almost vibrating with energy. Her eyes are sparkling as she continues to gush about the members in the two clubs, and how _fun_ it would have been if Junmi could join. But of course, Junmi shouldn't feel pressured to join! Yixin is quick to tell her, arms flailing.

Junmi jumps in shock for the second time that day when something coarse rubs against her bare leg, eyes wide as she lifts her gaze to see Taeeun stretching out her long, slender legs. The jean material of her short overalls being the culprit. She leans back, propping herself up on her elbows as she looks from Junmi to Yixin.

"What are you interested in?" Taeeun asks, unprompted. While she still sounds and looks like she's bored out of her mind, Junmi is surprised she bothers enough to ask. She squirms under Taeeun's gaze, still finding her somewhat frightening.

"Music, I guess?" Junmi says after a while, playing with the label of the chilsung bottle, unable to look away from Taeeun's scrutinizing gaze. While both Yixin and Hayeon have reassured Junmi that Taeeun is the friendliest thing ever, Junmi cannot shake the feeling of serial killer off when Taeeun looks at her. She seems so put together and cold. Most of the time, Junmi wonders if there's anything that can whip that frown off her face.

"You guess?" Taeeun asks, frowning at Junmi.

"Music. I like music." Junmi says quickly, pulling absently at the hem of her skirt.

If Junmi is to guess, the next expression that falls over Taeeun's face is actually, surprise. She sits back up and inches closer to Yixin and Junmi, her eyes wide.

"What kind of music?" Taeeun asks. Junmi has never heard her speak as loud as she just did. "The university has a lot of music clubs; I'm in one of them myself."

Taeeun is not on Yixin's level of enthusiasm - how could anyone be - however, if this is Taeeun being genuinely interested, eyes sparkling, Junmi will take it.

"Piano, classical music, ballads," Junmi replies. Taeeun smiles, for the first time in forever. It's small, shy, but shows off her tiny bottom teeth for a brief second before she closes her mouth, the corners of her lips still curled up. Taeeun bites at her bottom lip, effectively killing the smile, but that shine in her eyes are still there.

Suddenly there's a high noise, a blast of music vibrating over the lawn, causing Junmi to hurl her bottle away, seconds away from scrambling into Yixin's lap.

The song is loud, obnoxiously so, bass deep, and it feels like it's vibrating into Junmi's bones. It sounds like some generic pop song, although she can't name it. It's probably one of those mass produced songs by one of those mass produced groups that no one in ten years will remember. Junmi fights the urge to cover her ears; it wouldn't be polite to do so.

Next to her, Yixin is bobbing her head in time with the rhythm, those small pieces of rice _still_ stuck to her upper lip, and Junmi wonders briefly if she should tell her about their existence.

Just as she's about to speak, Yixin turns her face towards Junmi, speaking loudly. "This is one of the performance groups! They're called Starlights, and their focus area is pop, while the group I am in are more R&B."

Yixin stops talking as the group, made completely up of girls - Junmi counts six of them - enters the stage through a thin veil of smoke. Junmi squints to get a better view of the girls through the smoke. They're all beautiful, bare legs and arms, all in the same color; gold. It's hard to tell from where Junmi is sitting, but it looks like they're wearing headbands on top of their hair, with something akin to cat ears on top of them.

Despite the terrible song, Junmi finds herself getting lost in their movements, how it seems like their limbs are fluid, all of them in synch with the music. She has to keep herself from gaping when she notices they're all dancing in high, black heels. Junmi has always been confident enough in her singing, but she doesn't have any rhythm in her body at all, usually sitting down when there had been dancing parts in family parties or celebrations.

Just as the chorus blasts through the speakers, Junmi recognizes one of the people in the performance group: Hayeon. She's wearing gold like the rest of the group: a high waisted shorts and a crop top, revealing tiny slivers of her tan skin as she moves. Her dark brown hair is pushed back and up into a tiny ponytail, cat ears perked on top of her head as well. The gold really brings out her skin, Junmi notes, and it seems like she's glowing as she dances, moves catlike.

The first song blends out in another one, equally bass-y, still with the same similar thumping rhythm.

On stage, the girls swarm to the end of the stage, kicking off their high heels, replacing them with flat sneakers as they get back in position. The next song isn't as sultry as the first one, cheerier, and there's boys singing it this time. It doesn't make it any less generic, but Junmi enjoys seeing the girls perform, smiles on all of their faces like it had been on the previous song as well.

The second song is also their last, and Hayeon introduces them afterwards, breathlessly, as Starlight, just like Yixin had told Junmi earlier. Hayeon talks for a couple of minutes, talking about the group in general, and that they're to hold tryouts next week. She also informs them that the next group will go onto the stage in about fifteen minutes, and that it's the mixed formal dancers.

"You did great!" Yixin grins when Hayeon comes to join them, giving her a high five. Now that's she's up close, Junmi can see the golden eyeshadow and the fake eyelashes Hayeon wears. Her eyes are lined with gold and black as well, her cheeks pink, chest heaving a bit from the dancing.

She's beautiful.

"It was amazing to watch," Junmi admits, smiling at Hayeon who beams back as she claims a place on the blanket next to Taeeun, who looks like she has seen a ghost.

"Yixin ah, you got something-" Hayeon says, leaning forward to pick the stray rice away from Yixin's top lip. Yixin just blinks at her.

"Oh, rice!" Yixin exclaims, smiling as she takes the rice from Hayeon's hands, looking thoughtfully at them, poking the rice with her index finger.

A silence falls over them for a short while.

"I wish I could dance like you," Junmi says wistfully, resting her head in her hands.

"You could always sign up for the performance club!" Hayeon states, smiling at Junmi, helping herself to Taeeun's coffee. Surprisingly, Taeeun lets her take it. Junmi hasn't pegged her as someone who likes to share. Maybe it's because it's Hayeon?

Hayeon is just as enthusiastic as Yixin about the performance club, saying there's a group for almost any genre of dance. Some of the rarer ones have fewer members, but _you can always be in more than one group, Junmi-yah_ , Hayeon assures her. In her peripheral vision, she can see Yixin nod eagerly to every word coming out of Hayeon's mouth.

"It's tempting, especially if I had gotten any of you two as my mentor," Junmi admits. Yixin and Hayeon nods rapidly. Taeeun is hiding under her bangs again. "But I can't dance I'm afraid."

Junmi sees Yixin and Hayeon open their mouths to protest so she quickly adds: "I've tried okay, believe me. At my old university, I even took dance classes but to no avail. The teacher deemed me hopeless and so I've kind of lost my interest?"

"Hayeon eonni taught Taeeun eonni how to dance, and she used to be really bad," Yixin says, dodging a halfhearted punch from Taeeun.

"I'm not interested in dance," Taeeun grumbles, picking at the hem of her overall. At her side, Hayeon beams.

"She's quite okay now though," Yixin amends quickly. Taeeun lets out a soft huff, back under her bangs. Hayeon slings an arm around her shoulders, leaning their heads together as she laughs.

Junmi thinks she sees Taeeun smile. Slightly.

They - mostly Junmi, Yixin and Hayeon - talk about everything and nothing for a couple of hours, watching random clubs and groups perform and introduce themselves to the growing masses of freshmen and their helpers. The sun falls lower on the sky, and before long, it's dinner time.

Taeeun bids goodbye first as she has soccer practice and Hayeon is quick to join her, claiming she needs to get back to her group. Yixin lets them both go with a suggestive smile that makes Junmi curious. She remains silent, however, waving them off, until she's alone with Yixin.

"Maybe we should go back to the dorms as well? It's dinner time soon," Junmi says, gathering the empty bottles and boxes in the bag Taeeun had brought them in. Yixin agrees, and they head back to the dorms together.

"Junmi, I've been thinking, since you're so interested in music and everything, maybe you'll want to come to my band's concert?" Yixin says when they're walking to the dorms. They're standing at a crossroad, Yixin lives in a different dorm than Junmi, so she's going to the right and Junmi to the left.

"Concert?" Junmi asks, curious.

"Yes!" Yixin beams, eyes tiny crescents as she radiates enthusiasm. "I play guitar in a band."

Junmi blinks. She's known Yixin for a couple of days and she has never mentioned this band before. 

"Do you mean the marching band?"

"No, a band with guitar, keyboard, drums and a vocal," Yixin explains, eyes wide.

Junmi has never been to a concert before, other than when her church choir held concerts. It didn't seem like it was one of those concerts Yixin was talking about.

"It's not related to school," Yixin continues slowly, as if she wants to make sure that Junmi is still following. "Some of my long-time friends and I started a band when we were in middle school, and we're still playing. We're playing a gig at this club downtown this Saturday, and I wonder if you want to come?"

Junmi doesn't know if she's going to like it, if she's even into this band - Yixin's band - but a part of her is curious, wonders what kind of music sweet, friendly Yixin is playing.

"Sure," Junmi agrees, and even if she's still unsure whether or not it was a good idea, the smile that blossoms on Yixin's face is worth it.

It turns out that Yixin's band isn't the only band playing that night, but according to Minchae, they're the biggest, have the most fans.

Junmi sticks to Minchae's side as the wrestle through the crowd, consisting mainly of people their age; mostly girls, Junmi notes mentally as she dodges sweaty bodies, lets Minchae drag her towards the bar.

She feels out of place in this crowded, dimly lit club. The band on stage plays a genre Junmi never has heard about before, and if she is to describe it, she would say it's something akin to pig squealing. If Yixin's band plays the same type of music, Junmi doesn't think she can stay throughout their entire set.

"Here," Minchae says as she gently coaxes Junmi to sit down by the bar, having found a couple of available stools. Most of the seats are empty, in fact. It seems like this crowd prefers to be up in each other's faces, dancing and screaming.

Junmi watches as Minchae interacts with the bartender; a tall guy in a white shirt, navy apron and hair akin to cotton candy. He's beaming at them both, and Junmi politely returns his smile.

"Drink this," Minchae says, taking the first of two glasses from the bartender. Junmi eyes it with doubt. Being in a club, she can only assume that this is alcohol. However, Junmi has never really tasted alcohol before and she's not sure if her first time should be like this.

"What is it?" Junmi asks, accepting the drink nevertheless. The glass is cool in her hand, the liquid dark brown, resembling regular coke.

"It's just a coke," the bartender replies, smiling.

"Oh." Junmi sips it, looking gratefully over at Minchae

Minchae's drink is electric blue, complete with an umbrella and a straw in a tall glass filled with ice. The bartender, Wonshik, as Minchae introduces him as, slips a pink umbrella into Junmi's coke as well, winking at her as he does.

"What are you drinking, eonni?" Junmi asks when the band on the stage _finally_ ends their set and the club becomes a little quieter. The buzzing of voices is still as loud as ever, but at least now Junmi won't have to deal with the vocalist's pigsquealing.

"It's called a blue Andy," Minchae tells her, brushing away some red curls from her face as she speaks. Junmi sees her hesitate before she continues. "Do you want to taste?"

It's Junmi's turn to hesitate for a brief second before she nods.

She's not sure what's supposed to happen when she brings Minchae's straw to her lips, waiting for a brief second before she sips.

Surprisingly, it tastes rather good. As the drink rests on her palate while Junmi considers if she should swallow or not, her senses catches the taste of apple and citrus, with a weak underlying flavor of something bitter. As she swallows, feels the drink run down her throat, Junmi still feels like herself.

Minchae watches her as Junmi hands her the glass.

"Not that bad," Junmi admits and watches relief spill over Minchae's face.

Minchae is the only one who know parts of Junmi's past, why Junmi moved to another university, away from her family. Minchae is the only one who knows about Junmi's sheltered childhood, how the church has been a home for her more than her parents’ house ever was.

The scream of the crowd claims their attention, and by the look of Minchae's face, it's what they came here for.

Surely enough, Junmi recognizes Yixin on the stage, a guitar strap slung over her shoulder. She looks very different from how Junmi is used to see her. Yixin's pixie cut is styled so it falls into her eyes, and it doesn't look as _soft_ , curly as it usually does. Her eyes are lined with gold, green, blue hues. Her stage clothes consist of boots, black pants and a paisley shirt. The rest of her band is dressed similarly.

In addition to Yixin, the band is made up of another girl with dyed gray her on the drums, another girl with long, brown hair on a portable keyboard, and last a girl standing in the middle, a bass hanging on her shoulders, adjusting her mic.

Something warm enters Junmi's comfort zone, and by the smell of a familiar floral perfume, she knows it's Minchae.

"You know Yixin, she plays the guitar. And then the gray haired girl on the drums, that's Chanyi, then it's Hongmin on the keytar and Kyungseo playing bass as well as singing," Minchae tells her, her breath smelling like the drink she has been sipping on, fruity,

There's sounds of Yixin and Kyungseo softly plucking at their instruments, Chanyi slowly getting a beat going, Hongmin joining them.

"Good evening ladies," their vocal, Kyungseo, begins.

"And gentlemen," Hongmin interrupts, grinning. Junmi thinks she sees Kyungseo roll her eyes, smiling a small smile as she does. Wonshik the bartender cheers loudly.

"We're The New London Fire," Kyungseo continues in her low, velvety voice. The crowd cheers loudly. Junmi winces at the high-pitched screams from some of the girls.

"Yeah, they're quite popular with their fans." Minchae says, grinning. "Especially Kyungseo."

They launch into their first song, effectively ending the small chat between Minchae and Junmi.

The New London Fire have a different sound than the band playing prior, and Junmi finds herself relieved of the fact. Their music is melodious, genuine. The instruments coming through their right, in a symphony, symbiosis with Kyungseo's voice that's soft like warm butter in Junmi's ears.

A couple of songs in, she finds herself bobbin her head to the rhythm of the songs. They are good.

Minchae is standing on her stool, singing at the top of her lungs. It seems like she knows the songs by heart, obviously having been to more of their gigs that Junmi ever has.

Just before their fourth song, they take a short, brief break. Kyungseo sips to her water as she speaks. "The next song is by a band called The Smashing Pumpkins."

She's silenced by the loud screams of the crowd. Kyungseo laughs, then, a soft breathless sound that's captured by her microphone. Junmi's heart, lungs flutter at the sound, the sight of her wide smile.

She's beautiful.

"The song is titled Tonight Tonight," Kyungseo continues, pushing heavy black bangs away from her eyes. "It's almost blasphemy to play it with the reduced set that we have, but I think it'll be ok. I'll let you judge."

Chanyi, Kyungseo and Yixin begins, letting the sound of their instruments fill the club before Hongmin joins. It's a wonderful sound, almost eerie, but comfortable. And then Kyungseo starts to sing.

The air in the club is suddenly too thin, not enough. Junmi's head feels light, heavy, as it's going to float away, all while Kyungseo's voice seeps into her pores, lays a claim in her bones. Junmi has never heard this song before, has never heard about _The Smashing Pumpkins_ but Kyungseo, The New London Fire are doing this son justice. At least to her.

Junmi is not alone in feeling this, apparently, as the rest of the audience sings along. Although not too loud, they don't sing loud enough to drown out Kyungseo's voice. It feels like a choir where Kyungseo is the lead vocal, and the audience is the backup choir. There to support her, to make her shine.

The set is over after four more songs - too quick for Junmi's taste - and The New London Fire leaves the stage to loud cheers from the audience.

Junmi isnt quite in her own body yet. It still feels like she's floating, omniscient. Minchae, however has other plans. "Come on!" she says cheerfully, grabbing Junmi's hand as she pulls her off the stool, through the crowd, towards the stage.

Minchae drags her towards the backstage area, her ears deaf when Junmi suggests weakly that they won't make it through. Junmi remembers reading stories about groupies, about people dedicating themselves to follow a band around on tour. While Minchae probably isn't like that, Junmi doesn't want to end up like a groupie - in jail for stalking. 

Despite Junmi's skepticism, they pass easily through the security. The two broad men greet Minchae, as if she's a familiar face to them and let her pass with Junmi in a tow.

They venture down a small corridor, where they pass a couple of closed changing rooms before Minchae finds the door with the sign that says _The New London Fire_ on. Junmi watches as Minchae knocks in a weird pattern before she enters, dragging Junmi after her.

"Groupies!" Yixin announces as she notices them, grinning widely. She has a towel over her head, makeup a bit runny, but otherwise she looks good. Minchae gives her a high five and a hug, telling them how good their set was, while Junmi remains in the background, feeling slightly out of place.

Yixin gets to her before too long, hugging her too. It feels weird to hug someone she only has known or a short week, but Junmi lets Yixin pull her into her arms, smiling at the soft feeling of the terry cloth of Yixin's towel.

Eagerly, Yixin presents Junmi to the rest of the band.

"Hi, I'm Kim Junmi, nice to meet you," Junmi says awkwardly, heart pounding in her chest as all eyes in the changing room are on her for a brief second. They all greet her back, various in their enthusiasm and volume levels.

A long twig with gray, shoulder length hair gets up from her chair and walks over to Junmi, reminding her of an ostrich with the way she walks. The smile on Chanyi's face is utterly terrifying, although the warm gleam in her eyes soothes Junmi's nervousness.

"Park Chanyi at your service!" She says in a booming voice, bowing and shaking Junmi's hand at the same time. Chanyi is out of her stage outfit already, wearing tight jeans and an oversized hoodie. Only the make-up reveals that she's not casually dressed.

Hongmin comes up to her as well, dimpling at her as she smiles, introduces herself as Lee Hongmin, the visual of their band, to which Chanyi protests loudly. Hongmin is absolutely stunning up close, and Junmi finds herself enraptured by her beauty, only listening with half an ear as Hongmin talks about their set. Hair, curly - not as curly as Minchae's - is sticking to her temples as most of it is pulled back into a ponytail.

"Hongmin is beautiful isn't she," someone croons into Junmi's ear all of a sudden, making her yelp in surprise, blood pounding in her ears. Junmi turns on her heels and find her standing face to face with Kyungseo.

It would be embarrassing to faint now, she thinks faintly as Kyungseo watches her.

Kyungseo, too, is more beautiful up close than she was on stage. The badly dimmed light of the club not doing her much justice. However here in the brightly lit dressing room, she's all laid out, bare, washed for Junmi's eyes.

"Do Kyungseo," Kyungseo says, not smiling like Hongmin and Chanyi, but her tone is not mean, unfriendly.

"Kim Junmi," Junmi says, mouth dry all of a sudden, tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. Kyungseo nods once, walking over to a table with refreshments close by.

Like Chanyi, Kyungseo has changed out of her stage outfit, or so it seems. She's half dressed, at least Junmi feels so, as she's wearing high-waisted black shorts, sheer stockings with lace pattern, and a short crop-top, revealing slivers of pale skin.

Junmi swears she feels her tongue thicken in her mouth, her knees trembling.

Kyungseo leans against the refreshment table, eyes on Junmi as she helps herself to a bottle of lemonade. Junmi suddenly feels like she's underdressed, even in her knee-length white dress and blue cardigan.

The air is thick between them, charged, and Junmi wants to open her mouth to say something, anything but she finds that she's unable to do so. She just stands there, watching Kyungseo watching her.

Junmi and Kyungseo remain like this until the ostrich girl - Chanyi - yells that they're going to a bar Junmi never has heard of to get drinks, to celebrate.

Despite better judgement, Junmi finds herself joining; not even protesting as Yixin and Minchae grabs her arms and guides her out, eyes on Kyungseo's back.

Three hours, countless toasts, at least seven bottles of soju, two rounds of tequila later, Junmi finds herself squished in a booth between Minchae and Chanyi, clutching a glass of blue andy. It's her second one, and despite Minchae's claim of the alcohol levels in it, she finds herself somewhat fuzzy around the edges.

Most of them are more buzzed than Junmi; Yixin had taken Hongmin home an hour earlier. Chanyi is a loud drunk, and keeps flailing her long limbs everywhere, having hit Junmi thrice already, apologizing profusely every time.

Taeeun and Hayeon had showed up, courtesy of Minchae, bringing Lu Hua - a bright bubbly girl with waist-length blonde hair - with them. Lu Hua had immediately glued herself to Minchae's side, and hadn't really left.

Taeeun and Hayeon had vanished.

Junmi empties her blue andy, cradles the glass in her hands for a while, wondering when she suddenly had been okay with alcohol. When they had gotten to the club, she had started out with regular cokes, but after an hour or so, Minchae had told Junmi to buy her own drinks as she had finishes Minchae's blue andy.

"Eonni," Junmi says after a while, carefully poking Minchae's soft side. Minchae turns away from Lu Hua to smile brightly at Junmi, her eyes slightly hazy.

"What's up, my cute Junmi?" Minchae says, slurring slightly as she leans forward to press a quick kiss against Junmi's cheek, leaving Junmi baffled, surprised. Minchae giggles as she pulls away, hands cupping Junmi's face. "You're so, _so_ very cute."

"Eonni, I need to- can I please- use the bathroom?" Junmi mumbles, finding it hard to speak because Minchae is squishing her cheeks.

"But of course," Minchae croons, unceremoniously shoving Lu Hua off the seat so she lands with her butt on the floor, making room so Junmi is able to squirm out of the booth, walking off to find the bathroom.

"You push me around, and you keep kissing other girls. Kim Minchae don't you love me?" Junmi hears Lu Hua pout as Minchae laughs, probably helping her up from the floor.

This club is as crowded as the one Yixin's band had played in, making it almost impossible for Junmi to look for the bathrooms without running into someone. She doesn't mind as much though, now, whenever she runs into a warm body. Her own body feels fuzzy, warm, and she feels affectionate all of a sudden.

Junmi pauses her bathroom search for a couple of minutes to talk to a girl with the biggest lips she's ever seen, stopping to tell her exactly that. She wonders briefly, subconsciously if it was a bit rude, but luckily Lip Girl just laughs and ruffles Junmi's hair, telling her she's cute.

After a while, she does find the bathroom, empty, bathing in a blue light. She finishes her business, washes her hands and then proceeds to look herself in the mirror, using a couple of minutes to make faces at herself.

Back in the club, she loiters against one of the walls, simply looking at the crowd of people, everyone dancing close, close, bodies rubbing together. It reminds her of an ant colony.

The song booming through the speakers is horrible, all computer made, heavy beats and no voices, just thumping.

A chill runs down her spine as she suddenly, in the corner of her eye, notices two very familiar people.

There are hands absolutely everywhere, under shirts and down pants, lips locked as Taeeun and Hayeon grind against each other, clothes a complete mess. Taeeun, half a head taller than Hayeon, is crowding into Hayeon's space, both her hands fondling Hayeon's breasts, Hayeon's shirt pushed up to her armpits.

Junmi's brain is leaking out of her ears.

In her haze, unable to look away from her two friends, freshman helpers, Junmi suddenly fees someone grab her wrist. A soft voice telling her that it's time for her to get home.

The next Junmi knows, she's out of the club in the still warm august night. The hand is still around Junmi's waist, although not holding as tight onto her as it did previously.

Junmi pulls out of her daze, meeting Kyungseo's gaze.

Kyungseo is impossible to read, face blank as she looks at Junmi. She's still in her loud, vibrant stage make up, and it's too much but it's beautiful. _She_ 's beautiful.

There's a softness to Kyungseo's gaze then, lips curling slightly as she speaks a simple. "Thank you."

Junmi has had too much to drink.

"Yes, I think so too," Kyungseo says wryly, a soft smile grazing her lips for the first time that night, for the first time ever, in Junmi's eyes, presence. She should never stop smiling.

"Are you always this generous with compliments?" Kyungseo asks, but she's still smiling some, and it makes Junmi feels at ease, safe, even though the girl in front of her is a stranger.

"Apparently when I get tipsy," Junmi says, looking away from Kyungseo, to her hands, fingers picking at one of her cuticles, her ears warm.

A soft rustle of wind swipes over the street, its coolness welcome. It soothes the heat in Junmi's bones, her face, but not the burn in her lower torso, thighs.

"Where do you live?" Kyungseo asks quietly, her face blank again, big eyes still soft. "Minchae eonni is your RA isn't she?"

Junmi nods once, twice. A car drives past them, blasting loud music from its speakers. Kyungseo frowns. Junmi doesn't think she should frown like that.

"I think- Do you want me to follow you home?" Kyungseo asks eventually, voice even but laced with something Junmi's mind is unable to pick up on. It makes Junmi's chest warm, something fluttering in her heart as she notices Kyungseo briefly avoiding her gaze.

Junmi should say no, maybe. She doesn't know Kyungseo, doesn't know who she _is_. But then again, Junmi has no idea where she is and how to get home, so maybe.

"That'd be nice," Junmi replies. "That is, if you want to?"

Kyungseo nods.

The morning after, Junmi wakes up in her own bed, still wearing the dress from the night before, hair a mess.

With a text from Kyungseo on her phone. Junmi can’t remember giving Kyungseo her number.

From: Kyungseo  
6:43 am

_Are you doing anything today?_

Junmi almost tumbles out of bed in her eagerness, the phone joining her on the floor. She’s a mess of limbs, barely awake as she lets her fingers travel over the phone’s keyboard, chewing on her bottom lip. Junmi hasn’t anything planned for today, maybe save for starting on the reading list for one of her classes.

She considers her options before she replies.

To: Kyungseo  
10.43 am.

_Sorry for responding so late. No, nothing. Why?_

Junmi clutches her phone to her chest, heart fluttering as she waits for a response. Junmi is never – was never – as direct as this. If this had been the old Junmi - church choir Junmi – she wouldn’t have added that _“Why?”_ to her response. She would merely respond to the question. Church choir Junmi would never have put friends – strangers – above reading, above school.

Kyungseo’s response comes half an hour later, when Junmi has showered, a towel wrapped around her, hairband in her wet hair as she tosses herself onto the bed to read Kyungseo’s message.

From: Kyungseo  
11:19 am.

_I was thinking about our convo last night, about how you wanted to rediscover music?_

Junmi doesn’t remember their conversation from last night at all. The last thing she remembers is Kyungseo offering to follow her home. Junmi has no plan to let Kyungseo know that.

To: Kyungseo  
11:21 am.

_Music is… nice. What did you have in mind?_ she writes instead.

Junmi meets Kyungseo outside her dorm, since Junmi doesn’t know the city that well, and Kyungseo insists she could meet her.

Minutes earlier, when Junmi had fretted around her dorm room, stressed out of her mind because she wasn’t sure what to wear, Minchae had come in, wondering what all the loud yelping noises came from.

The smirk playing out on Minchae’s face when Junmi told her about her meeting with Kyungseo reminded Junmi of the Cheshire Cat in Alice in Wonderland. Minchae’s hair is in two pigtails, curls falling into her neck, wearing her pajamas as she picks out an outfit for Junmi.

“This is perfect,” Minchae had declared, touching Junmi’s face fondly as she presented Junmi with a pair of black pants and a plaid shirt; something Junmi got from Kyuri once but had never used. Minchae had also helped her braid her hair into one long, thick braid falling over her shoulder.

Lu Hua had showed up and re-claimed Minchae, but not before Minchae, choired by Lu Hua, wished Junmi luck on her big _date._

Junmi flushes at the memory.

Kyungseo’s hair has purple streaks in it, matching her skirt, black band t-shirt tucked into it. The thigh-highs she’s wearing has red bows on the elastic that bites into the skin of her thick thighs. Junmi wants to cry.

“Hey,” Kyungseo says when she’s reaching Junmi, eyes smiling at her.

“Hello,” Junmi greets, her nails sinking into the skin of her palms, teeth into her bottom lip.

“I’m glad you had time today,” Kyungseo says, voice genuine. This time, her lips smile as well. Junmi’s chest does that tight thing again.

Kyungseo guides her downtown, away from the main street, to a small building. Junmi would never had approached it if Kyungseo hadn’t been the one dragging her there. Its exterior looks like it needed a fresh layer of painting, as the old one is peeling off in patches of red and black.

They walk inside, and they’re met with a heavily perfumed scent, that turns out to be coming from scented candles. The soft noise of instruments is also there from the second they pass through the doors, and Junmi lets Kyungseo guide her through the empty hallway until they reach a mostly empty room. A stage is placed on the very end, blood-red curtains hanging down either side of the stage.

Kyungseo brings her index finger to her lips, her free hand grabbing Junmi’s wrist. There’s a band up on the stage playing, but there’s no audience save for two, three people on the chairs, and Junmi and Kyungseo.

They sit down on two stools in the back of the room, where they can hear everything, but not see everything.

“Last night you told me you wanted to change. That you- you wanted to rediscover your passion for music,” Kyungseo says under her breath, her lips brushing the shell of Junmi’s ear as she speaks. Something hot, heavy coils low in Junmi’s tummy. To distract herself she tries to count the lamps hanging from the roof, the tiles on the floor, but to no avail.

“You asked me why I like this genre of music, why I’m in a band instead of a choir, why I’m passionate about this,” Kyungseo continues. There’s a tilt to her voice that makes Junmi assume it’s a question.

Junmi, in lieu of answering, hums. Nods.

They sit there in silence as the band on stage plays through three songs. Junmi has never heard their songs before, but Kyungseo tells her in the middle of the second song that these songs are all cover songs, made by other artists, not the five adolescents standing on stage. She still thinks they’re good – maybe not as good as Kyungseo’s band – but it’s impressive, still.

“Who are they?” Junmi asks eventually, turning in her seat to look at Kyungseo. She flushes at the closeness; Junmi’s knee brushes along Kyungseo’s thigh, sending a fire up Junmi’s veins.

“I think they’re calling themselves ‘Symphony Soldiers’ but as far as I know that’s just a working title for their brand,” Kyungseo says, pursing her lips. “But their age average is just fifteen so they still have time to find themselves, to work out their sound.”

The last sentence is still ringing in Junmi’s ears when they leave the building.

“What was that place?” Junmi asks later when they’re seated in a booth in an ice cream bar, Kyungseo skimming through the menu.

The ice cream bar had been Junmi’s idea.

“That,” Kyungseo begins, folding the menu so she can read the other side. “Is our sanctuary, I guess. It’s where we gather, where we play music, where our dreams begins. Where my dreams began.”

Junmi looks through the menu herself, deciding on a vanilla milkshake, putting the menu back in its slot on the wall, waiting for Kyungseo to decide. It takes a couple of minutes before the waitress shows up, bright and bubbly, asking for their orders. In the end Kyungseo settles for a honeydew-green tea ice combo, and Junmi gets her vanilla milkshake.

“To be honest, I’m still not sure what you meant last night, the whole wanting to rediscover music,” Kyungseo admits later, when they both have gotten their treats, Junmi sipping at her milkshake while Kyungseo takes huge scoops of her ice cream.

“It’s my turn to be honest,” Junmi says around the straw, swallowing a mouthful of milkshake before she continues, her temples throbbing in pain because of the cold. “I don’t remember much of last night,”

Junmi watches for any and all reaction on Kyungseo’s face, but the other girl remains neutral, looking down at her ice cream briefly before looking back to Junmi, a mischievous shine in her eyes, lips curled into a smile as she eats some more ice cream.

“Thought so,” Kyungseo reveals, grinning.  
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Junmi splutters, cheeks heating up as she speaks, yet unable to look away from Kyungseo’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” Kyungseo shrugs, her bangs falling into her eyes. She’s quick to brush it back. Junmi’s fingers itches. “You told me some things yesterday that I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have told me if you were sober, even if I don’t know you that well. You just don’t seem like the type to reveal those type of things to a stranger.”

“What kinds of things?” Junmi asks quickly, ears burning, wondering just what she told Kyungseo.

“It doesn’t matter since you don’t remember,” Kyungseo says, waving her hand. However, she’s still smiling as she scoops more green tea ice with her spoon.

“Tell me, Kyungseo!” Junmi whines before she manages to think, embarrassment settling deeply into her bones.

“Cute,” Kyungseo murmurs around her spoon. “Well we talked about music mostly, you told me about your time in this church choir, but we also talked about other things.”

“What kinds of things?” Junmi repeats hotly, squirming in her seat.

“Things I thought you, as a church girl, didn’t talk about,” Kyungseo says, eyes dark, ominous.

Junmi swallows. It’s not like she has any dark secrets hidden except for the fact that she left her hometown, church, friends, family because she felt like she didn’t belong there, she needed to change. But even if Kyungseo knows _that_ , Junmi doesn’t mind. It’s not a secret she tries actively to keep hidden. If people ask her, that’s what she’s going to tell them.

“The part about me moving because I didn’t feel like church was the right thing for me?” Junmi tries, speaking in quiet tones. The ice cream bar isn’t filled with people, and there’s really nothing for her to be ashamed of, but she talks low, just in case.

Kyungseo shakes her head, licking her spoon. 

“That I grew up with very protective parents and had to keep my sexuality hidden?” Junmi asks boldly, knowing her cheeks are red at this point.

Her sexuality, her liking girls, is no secret anymore. It used to be, it had been, but she’s open about it now. It’s not like she’s flaunting it, telling everybody about it, but if people were to ask, she’d tell them. Minchae had guessed it herself, and so had Yixin, but Junmi wasn’t embarrassed about it.

“You told me – in detail – how much you liked me,” Kyungseo says after a while, voice even.

Junmi’s body flushes.

“It’s not like- I would never- I don’t even like you- I-“

Alcohol was bad, it made you do bad things, make your sense of judgement poor, made you a raving lunatic. True, Junmi wouldn’t mind having Kyungseo between her legs, but there was no way she’d tell her, especially since they met less than 24 hours ago.

“Hey, hey Junmi please calm down!”

Kyungseo is suddenly next to her, one hand cupping her face, the other one on her knee. Her eyes, lined with eyeliner are huge, worried as she tells Junmi to breathe. She picks up Junmi’s hand with her own, placing it on Kyungseo’s chest.

“Breathe with me,” Kyungseo says firmly, and Junmi does.

Kyungseo follows her back to her dorm, bids her goodbye and leaves her there, outside her dorm. The walk home had been silent, and Junmi isn’t sure if she imagined the coldness coming from Kyungseo. After Junmi had calmed down, they had paid and left. Kyungseo had wordlessly taken her home.

Maybe she screwed it all up. Just a day into their friendship, Junmi had screwed it all up.

She remains outside for hours, sitting at the bench by the doors. She doesn’t even know why she’s feeling so upset, so broken.

Minchae finds her on the bench, the wide grin naturally on her face quickly fades away from her face when she comes close enough to see the expression on Junmi’s face, or the lack thereof. Minchae’s hands, words are all soft as she asks if everything is okay.

Junmi doesn’t even care, spills it all as Minchae hugs her. Telling her how quickly she has fallen for Kyungseo, even though she barely knows her. She just knew, last night.

Junmi tells Minchae everything.

That night, Junmi sleeps between Minchae and Lu Hua, warmth all around her as they stroke her hair, tells her it’ll be okay.

To: Kyungseo  
mon. 02 sept. 7:30 am.

_Hi_.

To: Kyungseo  
mon. 02. Sept. 4: 56 pm.

_Can we talk?_  
Junmi sends Kyungseo ten more texts. Kyungseo doesn’t reply to any of them.

Two weeks later, Taeeun flits into her vision like a house cat. Freshman week is over long ago, but Junmi is still friends with her helpers Hayeon, Taeeun and Yixin, as well as Minchae, Lu Hua, Chanyi and Hongmin. Junmi is standing by her locker, collecting her books for her next class: children’s psychology, when Taeeun approaches her, still as tall and looming as ever.

“Do you have any plans tonight?” Taeeun asks promptly, hands shoved into the pockets of her sweatpants as she speaks.

“No, not really?” Junmi asks. She had done all the reading for next week’s classes, and with it being Friday, she had no plans other than to relax, maybe hang out with her friends.

“We – Hayeon, Minchae, Yixin and I – are going to this club tonight, and we were wondering if you wanted to come?”

“Sure,” Junmi says at once, smiling. Going clubbing was something she hadn’t done in a while. Usually they just crashed at Hayeon and Taeeun’s, playing video games or watching movies. It would be refreshing for a change.

Taeeun smiles.

“Good evening, we’re The New London Fire,” Kyungseo greets from her place on the stage, crowd cheering, and Junmi promptly chokes on her drink.

She’s as beautiful as Junmi remembers her; even more in fact, looking almost ethereal in the stage light. Kyungseo is wearing a dress tonight, a black one that reaches to her mid-thigh. Junmi’s heart jumps. She’s wearing the same pair of stockings that she had been wearing on their date. Junmi isn’t sure if that’s the proper word to describe it.

As they play through the first two songs, Junmi tries to look everywhere else than at Kyungseo, switching between cheering for Yixin and glaring at Minchae and Hayeon who smiles at her. Taeeun looks indifferent as always, but Junmi finds that assuring and even preferable to the other two.

“But Junmi-ah,” Minchae drawls, wrapping one arm around Junmi’s shoulder as she speaks, croons. “We just want you two to make up and be friends. It sucks since we’re sort of in the same social circle, and you two aren’t talking.”

“I _tried_ to talk to her, remember?” Junmi grumbles, trying and failing to shake Minchae’s arm off her shoulder. “It didn’t go that well.”

“This time, eonni had had a finger or two in the game,” Hayeon chirps from the other side of Junmi, squeezing her thigh.

Junmi grumbles lowly about sneaky friends tricking their younger friends.

As The New London Fire launches into their cover of Smashing Pumpkin’s Tonight Tonight, Junmi knows she’s in it too deep. She’s not sure if it’s the song, the band, or if it’s just Kyungseo. Junmi is in love. Maybe it’s vain, superficial, but all Junmi knows is that she can feel it in her bones, tugging at her heartstrings.

She knows the lyrics, now – she’s able to sing along to every word Kyungseo sings. Her iTunes library is updated, replaced with new – other artists. Junmi loves it.

They play seven songs before they get off the stage, and this time, Junmi is the fastest one off her stool, draining her drink in one go before she walks quickly towards the backstage area and the dressing rooms, with Minchae and Hayeon’s cat calls behind her.

Wonshik, who apparently works part time as a backstage security guy, lets her through at once, winking at her. Hongmin is by his side, in his arms, smiling at Junmi.

“Good luck!” she says, batting her heavy eyelashes at Junmi before patting her butt, telling her that they’re in room three.

It seems like everyone but Junmi knows what’s going on tonight, Junmi muses as she almost run down the hall.

In room three she meets Yixin and Chanyi, sitting on the big leather couch that takes up half of the space in the room. They’re both hunched over Chanyi’s phone, laughing at something.

“Hi Junmi-ah!” Yixin greets, dimpling as she smiles a glittery smile.

“Eonni! Long time, no see,” Chanyi beams, flailing her arms in a greeting.

“Have you seen Kyungseo?” Junmi asks promptly.

Yixin looks quickly through the dressing room, searching. “No, I think she left already?”

Chanyi drops her phone on her way up, tumbling over the couch, all long limbs and enthusiasm. “If she left, she literally _just_ left. You can still catch her. Use the backstage door, hurry!”

Of course Chanyi is in on this as well. Yixin probably is too; she’s just too absentminded to remember. Junmi thanks them, and runs. The backstage exit door is close, and she pushes it open and runs out into the slight drizzling rain.

Junmi isn’t quite sure what she wants to achieve by doing this, but she knows that she _has_ to. Something inside her wills her to continue as she runs down the streets, nervousness coiling in her tummy as she runs down the road she assumes Kyungseo has gone.

And she is right. As she turns around a corner, she sees Kyungseo’s frame. Junmi calls her name, but Kyungseo doesn’t turn to look. Maybe she didn’t hear her, maybe she did. Nevertheless, Junmi runs until she catches up with her, grabbing her shoulder to make her stop.

“Kyungseo,” Junmi pants, out of breath. “Please- Just- Just listen to me?”

Kyungseo’s stone face could give Taeeun a run for her money.

“I’m not sure why you’re mad at me, but after thinking through our conversation at the ice cream bar, I’ve concluded with that it’s because I said I didn’t like you, and that’s-“

“I’m not mad at you,” Kyungseo says tonelessly, shrugging Junmi’s hand off her shoulder.

“You’re not?”

Kyungseo shakes her head. “No. I might have overreacted a little, and I’m sorry about that. It’s just- Rejection have been a huge part of my life. And every time someone rejects me, I think I’ve become a little better at handling it, a little better at not freaking out, a little better at not crying, but it always backfires.”

“Wait, what?”

“Long story short: my parents rejected me, my family rejected me, my university of choice rejected me, and you did too.” Kyungseo says flatly, looking away.

“No look, Kyungseo I-“

She shakes her head again, bangs slightly wet, falling into her eyes. Her eyeliner is slightly smudged, purple eyeshadow rubbed out over her eyelids. “It’s okay Junmi. Just give me some time and we can maybe start being friends? I just need to-“

Junmi, frustrated and annoyed, Junmi hopelessly in love, leans forward and presses Kyungseo’s lips against hers. It’s fireworks, butterflies and everything she’s ever read about, and better. The kiss itself only lasts for a brief second, but to Junmi it’s the best second in her life.

“Please just listen to me, ok?” Junmi says quickly, and Kyungseo nods numbly at her. “I like you, okay. I like you a lot, but the thing is: I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend before. I don’t know how to be anyone’s girlfriend, but I’m willing to try, for you, for us, so please just- give me a chance?”

A soft, gentle smile meets Junmi, and it makes the butterflies go berserk; her entire body is tingling. It’s Kyungseo’s turn to kiss Junmi- then, and this time, Kyungseo’s hands is linking with hers, and wow, Junmi feels like she’s floating on a cloud.

“I’ll give you a chance, if you’ll give me a chance,” Kyungseo says softly.

And as the rain falls down on them, Junmi kisses Kyungseo again.

Junmi learns on their second date that she’s a year older than Kyungseo, and even though she tells Kyungseo that it’s ok, she can just call Junmi by her name, something hot curls in her torso when Kyungseo calls her _”Junmi eonni”_.

Junmi and Kyungseo goes on four more dates before they make it official. On their fifth date – a Fall Out Boy concert - Junmi asks Kyungseo to be her girlfriend. They make it official as they share a banana milkshake on the last train home, Kyungseo posting a pic of their entwined fingers on her Instagram.

Four weeks later, after their picnic date was interrupted by rain, Junmi finally gets to see Kyungseo’s flat. They’re out eating in a park close to where Kyungseo lives, and as they run squealing through the rain, Kyungseo drags Junmi to her place.

Junmi shuffles silently behind Kyungseo, throwing glances around them as Kyungseo leads her through her tiny two-room studio apartment.

It's neat, clean; a stark contrast to Junmi's own dorm room, that looks like a town where a bomb has gone off and nobody really bothered to rebuild it. Minchae always has a stroke when she visits.

Like other student flats, Kyungseo's is sparsely decorated. A twin sized bed is tucked into the upper left corner, a love seat and two mix matched chairs in the upper right, with a small kitchen in the bottom right. The door that presumably leads to the bathroom is located between the loveseat and the kitchen.

Junmi's eyes are fixated on Kyungseo's feet, the way her wet stockings makes little wet imprints on the wooden floor. She watches, enraptured as tiny droplets of water from Kyungseo's skirt, her black, braided hair, hits the floor silently.

Kyungseo's bathroom is small, too. The floor consists of navy blue tiles, the walls are tiled with white. There's a toilet, a sink and to Junmi's big surprise - someone have managed to fit a bathtub in there.

Color blossoms in Junmi's cheeks, the tip of her ears as she notices Kyungseo stripping out of her wet skirt and t-shirt. Her black bra and panties follow shortly, and Junmi swears she's not staring.

Shamelessly, Kyungseo turns halfway to throw a glance at Junmi before busing herself with filling the tub with water. She hums under her breath as she adjusts the temperature, opening a bunch of bottles, smelling them all before she chooses one, squirting some of the content into the water.

Junmi watches as Kyungseo settles in the tub, swallows loudly when Kyungseo turns to look at her. Kyungseo rises an eyebrow at her. Junmi squirms.

They’ve never taken things this far before. They have had their fair share of heavy makeout sessions in Junmi’s room, curled up on her bed, but they have always agreed on taking it slow, seeing how their relationship would unfold.

Lately, after Junmi got a bit eager and shoved her hands down Kyungseo’s pants during a particularly heated makeout session and then proceeded to run out of there to hide in Minchae’s room until Kyungseo told her that _we don’t have to do anything eonni. We’re doing this our way_.

Until now.

She's dripping all over Kyungseo's tiled bathroom floor. Not that it seems to bother Kyungseo.

She feels exposed, terribly so, as she stands by the door in Kyungseo's bathroom. It's ridiculous, Junmi knows, because she's still fully dressed, wearing her drenched clothes, whereas Kyungseo is stark naked. Yet Junmi feels as exposed as Kyungseo looks.

Junmi shudders at the feeling

"Aren't you coming?" Kyungseo asks in a voice that's too soft for the hard look in her eyes. Junmi's hands are trembling as she lifts them. She manages to pop open two buttons on her button down before her arms fall limply to her side.

Junmi's eyes fall from Kyungseo's face to look at her own socked feet. She's wearing her comfort socks today - the ones with Daisy Duck's face splayed over her toes. This wasn't really on her to-do list today. She's not dressed for this. Not dressed sexily, just dressed for a casual date.

A silence falls over the room and Junmi's gaze remains on her socks, wiggling her toes nervously in the cotton blend. She fists the hem of her shirt in her hands. It's white, her pants black, and since it's Sunday, she's technically dressed for church, even though she's not intended to go. After all these years it's still an habit.

The soft sounds of water makes Junmi look up from Daisy Duck, and she finds herself immediately regretting that choice, as Kyungseo's naked body fills her vision. She's lovely, as Junmi had expected.

Kyungseo is softer, rounder than Junmi is. Her pale skin curves wonderfully into her small waist, and then out around her curvy hips. Her long, black hair is braided in one thick braid that falls over her left shoulder.

Junmi's gaze falls to Kyungseo's full breasts, her nipples perked due to the slight cool of the room. As she lets her gaze trail over Kyungseo's slender tummy, Junmi feels her cheeks, ears burn with embarrassment. Eventually, her gaze falls to the soft curls between Kyungsoo's legs. Or the hair she had expected to be there. There's none. Kyungseo is completely bare.

Junmi finds herself blushing even more, even though she's not sure why. There's no big deal about naked girls; but this is Kyungseo. This is different than seeing a random classmate naked in the showers after phys ed.

She looks absolutely wonderful, and Junmi feels more out of place now than she did just seconds earlier. Junmi watches in awe as Kyungseo steps, naked, out of the bathtub.  
As she crosses the floor, walking the short distance between the bathtub and Junmi, her feet leave small, wet pools in their wake. Kyungseo doesn't seem to distraught by the wetness on her bathroom tiles.

"Junmi eonni" Kyungseo says, her wet hands coming up to pluck at the buttons of Junmi's shirt. The water seeps quickly into Junmi's cotton shirt, leaving it see-through. Kyungseo's eyes remains focused on Junmi's as she unbuttons Junmi's shirt, slowly, one button at a time.

She's trembling under Kyungseo's touch. Kyungseo can probably feel it, but if she does, she doesn't say anything, focuses on keeping Junmi's gaze as she unbuttons the shirt. The coolness of the bathroom becomes more clear to her when Kyungseo is done unbuttoning her shirt. Her skin is all gooseflesh. It doesn't help that Kyungseo raises her hands, pushing Junmi's shirt away from her shoulders, leaving her in her white lacy bra and pants.

"You're so cute, eonni." Kyungseo's voice is soft as silk when she speaks. Her hands dwell on Junmi's shoulders for a moment before she trails them down her front, pausing over the soft swell of Junmi's breasts.

Junmi squeezes her eyes shut as Kyungseo's small hands cup them through her bra. Kyungseo chuckles breathily, but lets go, only to trail the soft pads of her fingers down Junmi's tummy - which she tucks a bit in by inhaling sharply - until Kyungseo reaches the hem of Junmi's pants.

"Okay?"

Kyungseo doesn't specify more than that, but Junmi understand what she means. Not trusting her voice, Junmi only nods quickly, still forcing her eyes shut. With practiced ease, or so it seems, Kyungseo pops the button to Junmi's pants, then promptly pulls them down her thighs, tapping Junmi's ankles to get her to lift her feet, one at a time. Kyungseo removes Junmi's Daisy Duck socks as well, leaving Junmi in only her underwear.

She turns her back on Junmi, then, heading back to the tub, pausing briefly to look at Junmi over her bare shoulder, gaze heavy. Junmi shudders visibly, and she doesn't miss the soft smirk playing on Kyungseo's lips before she turns her head, sinks back into the bubbles.

Junmi bites her bottom lip, a thousand thoughts running through her head at once. Kyungseo isn't looking at her, not directly, too busy adding more bits of her bath bombs into the tub, making the water bubblier, adding more color.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to, eonni," Kyungseo says, throwing a quick glance in Junmi's general direction before she busies herself with the bath bombs again. She has got dozens of them in a plastic box next to the tub.

And Junmi does, she wants. It's just, if she decides to do this, if she decides to bath with Kyungseo, then, that's it. For Junmi it's not about taking a bath with another girl. It's about deciding, coming to terms with who she is. It's not as if she's going to declare it to the world, but it's about telling herself, making sure, knowing herself. Finally taking that last, final step.

Junmi wants this. Junmi wants Kyungseo.

Her eyes are fixed on the blue tiles of the floor as she unhooks her lacy, white bra, tosses it carefully over to where Kyungseo had placed her folded clothes. She uses some more time getting the panties off. They're white too, lacy, just like the bra.

Kyungseo is still not looking at her, which both fuels and soothes the nervousness running through her body. Junmi isn't sure if she's disappointed that Kyungseo isn't looking at her, because despite her hesitation; she wants Kyungseo to want her.

When Junmi finally, finally is naked, she crosses the tiled floor in a hurry, quickly sinks down in the hot water. She gasps because it's hot, to the point where it almost feels like it's burning. , the soft waves of the water as she settles feels like small licks from a flame, claiming her body.

Nervousness settles fully in her bones as she tries to get comfortable, wiggling so the water almost spills over the edge, soaking Kyungseo's fish-shaped carpet. She can't really put words to why she's nervous, why she's behaving differently. It's not like she's introverted, shy. Junmi doesn't recognize herself at all.

"Eonni." Out of a sudden, Kyungseo is there, grabbing Junmi by her wrists, tugging, pulling and fumbling until Junmi is seated in between Kyungseo’s legs, her back pressed against Kyungseo’s front. It would be a tight fit, but Kyungseo's tub is on the big side, and they're both short.

“Okay?” Kyungseo asks again, careful and understanding as she curls her arms around Junmi’s waist, pressing her fingers into Junmi’s soft skin.

“Please,” Junmi says breathlessly, heart pounding in her ears as her thighs tremble. Junmi needs this, needs Kyungseo. Out of habit more than anything else, she leans back against Kyungseo’s shoulder, nuzzling her face into Kyungseo’s neck, pressing a kiss to Kyungseo’s pulse point.

Kyungseo lets out a breathy whisper of Junmi’s name.

They have talked about this a lot, often.

So when Kyungseo’s hand slides down her tummy, through the soft curls between Junmi’s legs, it’s not a big surprise. Junmi still gasps at the sensation, her hands finding Kyungseo’s thighs, using them as leverage to stay in the moment.

One finger – Kyungseo’s middle finger – slips through Junmi’s lips, down to her core. Gently, carefully, Kyungseo lets her index and ring finger spread her open as her middle finger comes back up to circle around Junmi’s clit.

“You’re so wet already, eonni,” Kyungseo whispers, lips dry against Junmi’s forehead as she speaks. A strangled noise escapes through Junmi’s mouth.  
Kyungseo thumbs at Junmi’s clit, middle finger trailing down to slip into her. Junmi hisses, bucks against Kyungseo’s hands, pressing her face against Kyungseo’s skin as pleasure burn in her veins.

She’s not new to touching herself like this, not new to the sensation itself, but it feels so _different_ when it’s Kyungseo who touches her, Kyungseo who’s making her feel good. It sends her nerves, body haywire, blood pounding in her ears as Kyungseo slips her index finger into her as well, fucking them in and out of Junmi in a decent pace.

Kyungseo’s other hand comes down between Junmi’s legs as well, and starts rubbing gently on her clit, thumb trailing in circles around it, touching but still not touching enough.

“Do you touch yourself like this, eonni?” Kyungseo asks, voice low, sultry, and Junmi hisses. “Am I touching you enough, am I being good?”

“Yes, yes, yes just- Kyungseo-“ Junmi pants as she feels that familiar warmth burn in her thighs. She plants her feet against the porcelain tub, bucking up against Kyungseo’s hands, fucking herself on Kyungseo’s fingers as she comes. Her legs, body is trembling with the force of her orgasm as she curls in on herself, legs tightening around Kyungseo’s hands, her teeth sinks into Kyungseo’s skin.

A minute, an eternity later, when the white noise has left her ears, her vision back to being clear, Junmi turns, albeit a bit shakily, to face Kyungseo.

“Was it good, eonni?” Kyungseo asks, biting at her bottom lip as Junmi cups her face, kisses her instead of putting words to her feelings, she’s set on pouring them into the kiss, sucking and nipping at Kyungseo’s lips until she’s out of breath.

Kyungseo’s face is beautiful, cheeks and chest flushed with a lovely pink color. Junmi wants her so badly.

“Kyungseo, I want-“ Junmi begins, tugging at Kyungseo’s legs. “Let me eat you out.”

“Yes,” Kyungseo speaks on an exhale, climbs to her legs as she settles on the edge of the bathtub, feet spread as Junmi settles between her legs, nosing at the softness of her inner thighs, arms coming up to grab firmly onto warm skin, making sure her legs stay separated.

“Junmi eonni,” Kyungseo gasps as Junmi nuzzles on the soft, bare skin of her sex, mouth venturing lower, sucking on Kyungseo’s lips before one hand comes to part them, and her mouth easily finds her clit.

Kyungseo is noisy, Junmi quickly learns as she slips a finger into her girlfriend, settling a quick, firm pace as she curls her tongue around her clit, sucking noisily at it, wet noises filling the room along with Kyungseo’s moan.

“Oh, please,” Kyungseo moans, her fingers scrambling into Junmi’s hair. Hesitantly, but assumingly unconsciously, Kyungseo grinds against Junmi’s face as Junmi works determinately to make her fall apart.

Kyungseo is sweet, musky on her tongue, and Junmi feels herself getting aroused again because of Kyungseo’s sweet, pleasured whines. She’s hot, throbbing again between her legs, and she guides one hand between her legs, heel of her hand rubbing circles over her clit as she gets Kyungseo off.

Junmi inserts another finger, curling them into Kyungseo’s heat.

She shouts Junmi’s name as she comes, thighs trembling on either side of Junmi’s face as Junmi works her through her orgasm, body shaking. Junmi follows her shortly, letting her second orgasm claim her already tired body.

Kyungseo bends down to kiss herself off Junmi’s lips, lick her taste off Junmi’s tongue, lets Junmi coax her back into the colorful water as they kiss.

Junmi entwines their fingers, seating herself in Kyungseo’s lap as she kisses her sweetly. As she pulls away, she leans her forehead against Kyungseo’s, still wanting to be close, to feel Kyungseo’s body against her own.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”


End file.
